it ain't worth telling a lie, it ain't worth living a liePhoto by Pixabay on


To put it into perspective– it ain’t worth telling–a lie–, and it most definitely ain’t worth experiencing a lie either. Frankly, what sense does it make? Because at the end of the day–the negative-impact of not living in your TRUTH– will always make you a miserable UNHAPPY human-being –at the dawn of each new day!

It ain’t worth telling a lie or living a lie–is it?

Have you ever thought–what would it be like to live a life of truth and self-acceptance? Individually, to live your truth right here, right now. Despite everything, we all need to live our most truthful self.

There is a person waiting to come out!

Believe it or not–Inside of you is a person waiting to come out and live in truth and openness. Subsequently, I have spent the better part of my life trying to live up to the demands of others; be the person they thought I should be; the one always there when something or someone needed help finding a solution to a problem, or advice on something.

Above all, always being magnanimous. No matter the situation, giving, doing it with compassion; and seldom having it reciprocated. I did it because it was and still is the center of my SOUL.


That said—I learned the hard way—you can’t be the surefire solution to everyone’s problems without losing sight of your own. The stress from it takes a toll on you, and you forget that you, as a person, HAVE feelings, needs wants, and desires THAT need attention.

More importantly—for so long, I lived a lie—because I didn’t feel like me. It was like —I am breathing, moving —but something is wrong. The weight of the world was on my shoulders.

Without notifications, my whole world changed.

I always believed that through positive thinking, I could do tremendous things, thinking that you can do something—-often leads to magnificent creations. But— one day, the weight of the stress from people and not the situation became too much to handle.

That one day, when the stress was too much to handle–my world changed forever.

Do you want to know what happened? Let me tell you –all of a sudden darkness covered my brain, my light was gone, then boom–I passed out—falling backward crashing —hitting my head onto the concrete surface.

When I awoke —I thought I was okay; however, gradually, over time, I realized, Essie C. was disappearing. Everything about her was different. I didn’t know who she was; So—I didn’t want to be her anymore.

For the most part, it wasn’t until my husband said to me while sitting in the doctors’ office— please come back to me—that I realized I had LOST myself.

“Some people get lost for so long that they forget what it was like to be themselves. Find yourself again.” Anonymous

To make a long story short— TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND APHASIA, was my everyday reality! Once again, I was not living my life of truth. As long as I lived as Essie C—I would never be able to live in reality. Because of the damage caused by the situation — and the people involved!


Unapologetically, I now live my truth and own it. However, it wasn’t an easy road getting to that point. There were hills and mountains to climb– mud and quicksand, which surrounded me, which was trying to suck me deeper into it.


So I had to try to find a way to accept who I was at that moment. I learned through counseling that the key to change is receiving who you are and by allowing what struggles you have to deal with; also that without acceptance, I would continuously feel unworthy of making headway and be disappointed in the choices I made. But it is okay. Remember and believe it, he said.

Defining my truth. It took me years and a lot of work… figuring out my exact truth. In reality, I already knew it but had a hard time defining myself. I had stop and listen to my inner-self to make myself aware of the truths that were within me.

“It’s great if you can help others, but seriously don’t lose yourself in the process!” Karen Gibbs

Truth be told:

Truth is: I am still Essie C.—however, Essie B. is the one that deals with all of the crap people dish out in today’s world. To put it differently—She doesn’t allow herself to be defined by the opinions of what others may think of her, as Essie C. did for too many years, which ultimately destroyed her.


Be honest in your truth.— Don’t wake up at the dawn of each and every new day—-A MISERABLE, AND UNHAPPY HUMAN BEING, hiding behind judgment, inflicted by yourself, or anyone else.

Just remember, your personal truth is just that, truth. So do it loudly and proudly.


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